The wife wants her husband after work. What to do if the husband does not want his wife

There is a man, but there is no sex. What to do if your husband doesn't want sex? The myth that a man constantly wants sex has been dispelled. Sexuality is just a function of the body, both in women and men. All sexuality depends on the existence of sexual temperament: weak, average, strong. Either wife or husband can have any of them. Incompatibility of sexual temperament can destroy the harmony in a couple. That's why it's so important to take this into account.

As such, there is no standard for the amount of sex in a couple. This could be once a day, or maybe once a month. The main thing is that both spouses are satisfied with this number.

If it's about sex

When confronted with her husband’s refusal, a woman feels guilty and ashamed. A woman understands that a man cannot always be the initiator in sex, but when she hears his refusal, she takes it hard. Everyone knows the jokes on the topic: a husband wants sex, but his wife has a headache. In addition, there are a number of other prejudices that men only need sex. And when a man tells his wife that I don’t want it, she thinks that there is something wrong with her.

But men also feel humiliated when they fail in bed. The reasons are various, from physiological to psychological. And the harmony in the couple depends on whether a man turns for help. Typically, men deny the presence of sexual problems and do not seek help or treatment.

If it's not about sex, but about relationships

This makes the problem doubly worse. If a husband does not want to resolve this with his wife, he is ignoring her stress. You have obvious problems not only in sex, but also in relationships, if you really want something, but your husband does not want to discuss it and give you time.

My husband doesn’t want me - why doesn’t a man want sex?

When considering the reasons why a husband does not want sex, women usually name physiological problems. But in reality everything is different. Physiological problems affect only 10% of men. All other men don't want sex for psychological reasons. What factors can influence a man's sexual behavior?

My husband doesn't want me - The strength and power of a woman

Every person has both masculine traits and feminine character traits. From a very early age, a man is surrounded by women: mothers, grandmothers, sisters. All of them lay certain stereotypes of female behavior into the behavior of the future man. If a boy does not have a father, and the influence of women dominates, then in adulthood such a man will exhibit feminine character traits. He will be affectionate and gentle, but it will be difficult for him to behave like a man, not only in life, but also in sex. And if he meets a woman in whom masculine traits predominate, then on a psychological level it will be difficult for them to understand each other in sex.

Even if a man exhibits a masculine type of behavior, a woman has the power to dull him. Here is an example of one story: “My husband constantly says that he is tired and falls asleep quickly. I don’t suffer much from this physically, but I worry that he has a mistress.”

A sexually inactive husband does not necessarily have a mistress. The reason most likely lies in the family atmosphere. For this woman, sex is not important and by doing this she cools her husband’s sexual desire. Perhaps when she feels that her husband wants her, she runs off to do housework, waiting for his desire to pass. Maybe she, on the contrary, demands a lot from a man in bed, for example, 5 orgasms in an hour. A man is controlled by fear of failure; he begins to become afraid of such conditions. There is no place for conditions and demands in sex.

When a woman manipulates sex and demands something in return, she may encounter refusal from her husband next time. For such a woman, the main thing is power and control, not sex and pleasure. A man, not wanting to obey, refuses sex altogether. Sex turns into humiliating calculations and bookkeeping.

A wife who demands something may stumble upon her husband’s reluctance to give and waste himself. At such moments, a man can show the attitude that I don’t have enough for myself, and I also need to share energy with my wife. It is difficult for him to admit that he is exhausted, since this is a big blow to his “I”. A man prefers to avoid sex. This behavior is similar to the behavior of a child, when he is scared, he hides his head under the pillow.

A wife needs to pay attention to her behavior and not bring her husband to such states.

My husband doesn't want me - With age comes choice

As we grow older, our priorities change. If at 18 a man cannot think about anything other than sex, then by the age of 30 he has a choice: either make love with his wife or fall asleep earlier and go to work well-rested. For an adult man, the second is sometimes more important.

Adult men think about sex, but their energy and interest are not only focused on it. Social achievements, hobbies, careers come first. Alpine skiing, for example, is more interesting for many adult men than sex with their wife.

A man never ceases to be interested in sex; it’s just that sex has competitors. Nowadays, it is easy to get pleasure, but the methods of achieving pleasure that we use cease to be important for some people, and this is how sexual omnivorousness appears. So sex ceases to carry something unique for a man and a woman; it becomes an inconspicuous commodity that can be purchased at any time along with other goods. A man experiences a devaluation of sex, for him it loses its attractiveness, and satiety with it causes fatigue.

A man’s reluctance to have sex may be due to the excessive attention that society pays to sex. The media continues to formulate a stereotype that a man must be ready for sex 24 hours a day. If a man realizes that he is incapable of this, he develops a psychological defense in the form of refusing sex. This is how a man can save himself from failure.

My husband doesn’t want me - But he wants to succeed everywhere

Wives rejoice when their husbands strive for high material achievements. But this process always has a downside: the husband spends more and more time at work, and when he comes home tired, he may want only one thing - to eat. Wives already like this situation less.

Staying at work and not wanting sex can be regarded as a form of refusal. Looking for an answer to the question, my husband doesn’t want me, what should I do? The woman needs to stop being offended, it’s better to think about why her husband ran away from her to the office. Men will find the strength to have sex if they have the desire.

A man who prefers work to sex may not be able or know how to succeed in both. Imagine how this hard worker feels. He may also be uncomfortable with the fact that his sex life is suffering due to the fact that he cannot properly distribute his energy. It’s also unpleasant for him that he’s a total fiasco when it comes to sex.

My husband doesn't want me - Sex manipulation

Men also know how to manipulate sex. A man who uses this type of manipulation most likely wants to become the master of the situation and wants to control you. When the husband decides whether there will be sex or not, he gains power over the woman. Perhaps such a man is afraid of affection and sexual relations will be too close for him. This can be compared to when cold mothers bribe their child with toys and candy, but do not let him into their soul.

What happens to men

Ideas about gender and masculinity are being disrupted these days. Men have the right to be sentimental and sensitive. Nowadays, a man’s ability to show his feelings is valued higher than the ability to carefully hide them. Men are becoming more and more like women. They have the right to refuse sex and look after their own interests.

They may have a headache, and they want tenderness, affection and understanding.

And how to behave with a man who doesn’t want sex?

A woman can leave this relationship, put sex in second place, but there is only hope in trying to accept her man for who he is. For a woman, instead of looking for answers to the question, my husband doesn’t want me, what should I do, it is better to start looking for what is worthy of love in him. Such a relationship is that a woman should want to see the inner content in her partner - not muscles, not social status, not a car and money, but to love his inner world.

Much in such situations depends on the woman. A wife may insult her husband with a phrase like “What’s wrong with you?” or “Aren’t you a man?” Women's irritation leads nowhere. When spouses begin to get angry, when their vulnerable egos collide, this is a bad foundation on which it is impossible to start discussing and deciding anything.

All questions, such as my husband doesn’t want me, what to do, should be discussed by the couple in a comfortable, calm, non-stressful environment. Why not, instead of reproaches and insults, put the children to bed, take a glass of wine and talk calmly.

In a normal, healthy family relationship, the partner will definitely respond to his wife’s requests.

Is it worth getting a divorce when the husband doesn't want his wife?

Women in situations where there is no sex with their husbands think about divorce or about a lover. For many, such a marriage loses its meaning. Women come to the conclusion that their husbands’ reluctance to solve problems with sex is a sign of their immaturity, which destroys the relationship as a whole. Women feel that this is causing the marriage to crack. A husband and wife should go through life together, sex is definitely a part of their relationship.

There are no universal instructions and recipes when a husband does not want sex. But still, a woman’s patience is not limitless, and if six months have passed, but your partner continues to ignore your appeal to him, you should at least think about whether you are ready to get a divorce because of this. If you want to try to change the situation, you should start with an open and calm conversation.

Those who have the will to solve problems will find a way. The main thing is that there is this will.

My husband doesn’t want me, what to do - advice from a psychologist

In the period after 6 months to a year and a half of living together, everyone in the relationship may begin to cool off towards your partner.

You don't spend as much time in bed as before.

The question of who is to blame if the wife does not want her husband is obvious. Both are to blame. And it’s better to solve the problem instead of looking for someone to blame.

The reasons for such cooling of the wife

8 reasons why a wife doesn’t want her husband:

The husband gives her the same emotions, the wife consistently has the same emotional background. Sometimes she really needs these emotional rollercoasters.
The husband lost his attraction to her, hence the wife also loses it. Because attraction is transmitted and initially comes from the husband.
You are accustomed to each other's pheromones. The family no longer has the same attraction and chemistry as before.
Monotony in bed due to lack of much experience.
You have a small child in your family.
Her depression or stress outside the home.
The spouse refuses out of a feeling of revenge, some kind of past resentment towards you (for example, a resentment in the style of “I screwed in the light bulb myself, but I asked him about it for 4 days in a row”).
My husband simply stopped taking care of himself and walks around the apartment with a fat belly in his shorts (don’t forget to shave in the morning, take a shower and keep in shape). The smell of sweat is very repulsive.

16 secrets that solve the problem

1. Calculate which of the 2 components of your relationship is sagging

For any relationship there are 2 components:

Emotional (there should be emotional peaks, her scale of emotions at this moment looks like a “slide”);
Physiological.

If you consistently have these 2 components at their best, then no one will leave you, you will always desire each other and will put an end to worries about how to make your wife want her husband.

2. On the scale of emotional outbursts, bring her to at least 7 out of 10

Emotional outbursts are a sudden break in her reality into positivity.

Many people do not know what to do if a wife does not want a husband, and they cannot find any reason for this. Here you just need to give her more of these emotional outbursts.

Let's look at examples of how you can arrange a roof-raiser.

Do this with her in any extreme place:

near the church;
on the beach in a changing cabin;
in the toilet of a public institution;
right in the fitting room of a clothing boutique;
at home on the kitchen table;
at home on the washing machine.

Try something extraordinary at least once a week.

Even if the quality of intimacy in a public place is not as high as at home, all this is compensated by the fact that you will release large doses of adrenaline when you do it.

The pros of it all

She will feel your passion, impulse of love and at the same time danger.
This will give her a very big surge of emotions. The emotional side is very important for women.
This way, the relationship will last longer, questions about why the wife doesn’t want her husband and constantly sleeps will be closed, and you will know what to do.

If you don't give her these emotional outbursts and don't take care of it, then someone else will take care of it.

Because especially young girls always live with emotions. It's us men who think more logically. It's different for women.

Always watch out for emotional outbursts in the family.

There should be peaks of emotions - positive surges.

3. Don't let her manipulate the man and use it as a weapon.

As soon as a man stops communicating with other girls, and your lady no longer sees competition for her man, her trading mechanism kicks in.

She begins to think about in what cases she should give her husband the right to intimacy and in what cases not.

Here is a common reason why a wife does not want a man.

In what cases does a woman begin to manipulate a man?

The girl sees that her man is investing only in her and no other girl.
If a man has no female friends.
He does not communicate with other women and does not share emotions with them.
A man does not improve and does not develop.

How to find a way out of this situation

This is a normal male need to communicate with the opposite sex without the context of bed.
So don’t deny yourself this and don’t limit yourself in communicating with women.
And then your wife will see you as a worthy man, an object of desire.
She will see you as a man who needs to be held and whom many women dream of meeting.
She will see potential competitors next to you and will not give up her position and will begin to compete with them for your attention.

4. If you have a child in your family

Let's look at the question of why a wife doesn't want a husband after giving birth.

There are the following explanations for this:

When a wife breastfeeds her baby 3 times a day, she experiences sensations that are equivalent to making love.
She no longer needs her husband after this. So if you have a baby in your family, it is not surprising that she is satisfied without you.
After childbirth, the hormonal background of girls changes dramatically and it takes several months for everything to return to order on its own. Because of this, passion for her husband disappears for a while. For some people who have given birth, doctors prescribe medications for a while to bring their hormonal levels in order, while others do without it.
Pregnancy also affects the figure of the wife. Now she is no longer as slim as before. And many girls after giving birth begin to limit themselves in intimacy with their man.
They build into themselves such beliefs that I am no longer the same, that I am unworthy, he won’t even look at me the way I am now, and other cockroaches.

How to resolve the issue in this case

A pregnant wife does not want a husband because the physiology of her body has changed very much. But even after the baby is born, a number of other questions described above may arise.

Pay attention to these nuances and you will understand what's going on.

The man’s task in this case is to give his wife confidence that he loves her for who she is and for him she is still his queen.
Let her know that the feelings haven't faded yet.

5. Take on some family responsibilities and give her a day off.

A woman's work and business projects can take a lot of energy and strength.

And then she returns home tired, where hungry children are waiting for her. Then she still cooks in the kitchen and plus she needs to wash the floors or do laundry.

And it is not surprising that the wife does not want her husband and constantly complains of fatigue

There is no talk of intimacy with your loved one.

Here the man needs to do the following:

Or give her a day off and let her just relax at home after work. When you take over all her affairs for a few days, her energy reserves will quickly replenish.
Or take on at least half of what she used to do at home. Prepare food for your children and family yourself, no need to wait for your spouse to arrive.
As an example, it would be helpful to give her a relaxing massage after work.

6. Before marriage, the husband must have a sufficient amount of experience in bed

Average man before marriage has about 6 partners. This is very little to achieve mastery in bed or become an elite.
You should just blow her mind. Because no one needs cautious, insecure men who are afraid of women in bed and don’t know what to do with her there.
At the initial stage, each whoever marries must have a sufficient number of women (10 or more).
You need to get enough experience with women. You should get the maximum experience!
It is after this that you will be able to make informed choices in the further stages of your development.
Possessing a lot of women to allow you to feel better about the woman you meet, to find out how similar you are to her and how suitable she is for you.
Finally, having met the right one woman, you can better calibrate and at the right time refuse her if she is not suitable for you.

7. Your male ego may prevent you from admitting that your spouse is not satisfied.

The husband may mistakenly believe that “I know everything”
Many husbands think they are great in bed, when in fact they don't care whether their partner has experienced pleasure or not.
Most men cannot last long in bed and everything ends very quickly. At the same time, they still consider themselves masters in bed and good husbands at the same time.
In this case, you need to at least admit to yourself that you are not perfect and you don’t know everything.
You need to be able to recognize your shortcomings, and then there is a great incentive and motivation to work on them and change.
Look at reality with a sober look, and not through the prism of an inflated ego and self-importance (sense of self-importance), where you consider yourself a tough guy.
Men cannot realize, it prevents them from admitting even to themselves that there are areas in which they should learn.

Get rid of ego and self-importance. This way, you will know what to do if your wife does not want a husband, and you will not need the advice of a psychologist at all.

8. Men don’t know how a woman’s body works.

Women get aroused very slowly. Right by the millimeter, like on a loudspeaker.
Your foreplay may be longer if you used to do everything quickly.
Or if everything was too slow before, then, on the contrary, change the scenario. Thus, the wife will experience maximum pleasure.
There is no need to be afraid of appearing rude or tough in bed.
Don't be afraid to dominate - women really like this.
Women love and want a man to possess them with power. Their whole essence is to be conquered and achieved. They just love this feeling.
Live without shame and guilt for your desires and behavior. And don’t bother with questions about...
You will be deeply unhappy if you suppress the male essence in yourself.

The better you know how your woman's body works, the deeper you will get to know her and the more pleasure you can give her.

9. You shouldn't have bad breath.

Kisses mean a lot more to women than to men.

Especially if you know how to kiss.

And your breath should be fresh.

You can never have too many kisses.

For a woman, a kiss is like cementing your emotional connection with her.

If your breath smells, then everything is clear. This prevents her from relaxing and having fun.

Don't be lazy to brush your teeth before getting into bed with your loved one. And then you will no longer ask questions about why the wife does not want intimacy with her husband.

10. Allow yourself and your partner to be themselves in bed.

Let her be who she is.

Teach her not to be shy about making noises in bed. Don't be shy to do it yourself, don't be afraid to scream.

Communicate with her during intimacy.

The dream of every person is to be with a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can satisfy your curiosity and any desires.

How to allow yourself and her to be themselves:

Let her know that you will never judge her for any desires or aspirations and you will not label her. And then she will also open up to you and offer to make her extreme fantasies come true.
Don’t keep any sounds inside yourself, and your sensations will immediately intensify.
Don’t stifle the energy in yourself, let the sounds out of you. She will give you a compliment for this.
A woman will really appreciate this ability to open up in you. It will excite her.

For example:

I make women scream.
I make them make sounds.
I allow myself and them to be themselves.

My acquaintance

11. Make it a happy occasion, for anticipation, voice your fantasies with her throughout the day.

Make your upcoming night of love a happy event.

You can prepare her for this throughout the day. You can bring her into this state with words.

There are couples who constantly talk about the night in bed with each other.

They emphasize and voice their desires and are not shy about it.

Such moments throughout the day really turn a woman on.

If you get into the habit of voicing your fantasies, this will seriously diversify your life and prevent you from getting sucked into the dull everyday life. This will greatly strengthen your relationship.

We usually don't say thoughts in our heads. How to tell a girl that you like her, I.

Learn to speak thoughts in your head - this will increase the emotional component of things.

Learn to talk to her positively about making love throughout the day, with playfulness and passion! This seriously increases the attraction between you.

12. Silence is not golden, talk and communicate with her

Break the silence at least 2 times an hour while having fun in bed to get feedback from her.
Say a few compliments, flirt. Read more about flirting with a girl also. No need to play silent movies.
Whatever you say becomes passionate when you whisper words in your woman’s ear.
Lower your voice, speak into your ear. Even if you whisper to her the bus schedule to Syzran, she will still get excited.

For example, compliments: how much you really like the smell of her skin (if you really like it). Just tell the truth.

Remember and implement this. There is no reason for you to search the forums for a topic about why a wife doesn’t want her husband.

13. Learn to distinguish between her sounds of pain and sounds of pleasure.

Perhaps during lovemaking you hurt her, and you don’t even realize it.

If a wife does not want her husband because he hurts her, then naturally she may begin to avoid contact with him.

How to fix the situation:

She makes strange sounds - you will never know their meaning, if you don't ask myself.
Listen to her moan.
If you scream a lot, and she also starts screaming loudly, this does not mean that it is from pleasure.
This sound of pain is knocked out of a common cartridge. Sometimes it is impossible to distinguish it.
So in such cases, be sure to stop and ask, isn't she in pain?.
A woman may even remain silent and not specifically talk about it, so as not to offend you or offend your male ego.

14. Your behavior after

There are men who, at the end of a stormy night, like to quickly pass out, turning on the other side and snoring.

When the wife does not want her husband for the reason above, you should implement the following:

After your nightly caresses, do not go straight to bed! Even if you really want to.
Show her through your actions and behavior that you appreciate her.
Stroke her, kiss her, caress her. At a lower intensity for at least 10 minutes.
Compliment her. You can tell her how good you had it together.
How you behave afterwards is very important. This is what cements the impression of you!

15. Take the two of you on vacation to a new, early, unseen place.

You don’t have to immediately imagine Fiji or the Canary Islands.

You can go away together just to relax. Where you can swim, sunbathe, where it’s sunny.

There is no need to take friends, her girlfriends or anyone else with you.

It would be better if the place was new. The dacha option is not suitable.

There may not even be much need to do anything there. In sunny and warm places, rapprochement, attraction, attraction to each other occurs faster.

If the two of you were fine before this, and then problems surfaced and a routine fell in, then solving all this there will not be a problem if you are two absolutely normal people.

16. Make her look at you from different angles.

She should not perceive you only as a husband, the keeper of the family hearth. It's boring.

She should perceive you in many ways, in different ways.

For example, you can take on several roles at the same time:

sometimes you are so macho and a bully;
sometimes you are a kind and caring husband;
and sometimes you are a daring guy;
but sometimes also a romantic.

What also helps to achieve this:

Interesting different clothes.
Various perfumes and fragrances.

The advantages of such different perceptions:

Adds the effect of surprise and unpredictability to relationships.
She always gets to know you new.
She is more attracted to you.
And this gray banality is no longer there.

A happy family life consists of many factors. Mutual love, emotional and spiritual closeness, respect, common interests and goals in life - all this is very important for family well-being. But still, one of the key points influencing the duration and harmony of a relationship is sexual attraction and regular sex.

If a woman does not want a man, in the vast majority of cases the family breaks up. So why doesn't the wife want intimacy with her husband? What is the reason for this seemingly illogical behavior? In the end, the woman herself chose this man as her life partner. This means that she was initially attracted to him, and how!

The “roots” of the problem – a view from the inside

You can’t imagine how often couples going through a difficult period in their sexual relationships turn to family psychologists. And how many marriages break up because wives do not want to share a bed with their husbands.

Sexologists have thoroughly studied this problem and identified the key reasons that directly affect the decrease in female sexual desire. This:

Loss of interest in the husband as a person.
Physical and mental fatigue.
Lack of diversity in the sexual sphere.
Birth of a child.
Lack of emotional intimacy.
Unpleasant sensations during sexual intercourse.

The most interesting thing is that many attribute this “fading of the flame of love” to the age of the woman or man. But that's not true. If a person takes care of his physical form, is constantly passionate about something and is literally “burning” with a thirst for life, he will not have problems with sex for a very, very long time. And “giving up” on your sex life at the age of 40-60 is simply stupid. And short-sighted.

Therefore, if you are wondering why a wife does not want a husband, we advise you to pay attention to the list above. But below we will look at each problem separately and tell you what can be done to regain your former passion and desire.

Habit, everyday life, routine are the main “devourers” of sexual desire

During the courtship period, a man shows himself at his best: lots of attention, compliments, pleasant surprises, flowers, tenderness, care and affection. And if, after a certain time after the wedding, the ardent and passionate man of your dreams turns into a very ordinary person, completely devoid of romance, this is quite unpleasant. A woman needs to constantly feel loved and desired, to feel real care and support.

When the most your wife gets is a fleeting kiss on the cheek or “thank you, it was delicious” - get ready for a minimum in your intimate life. Why doesn't a wife want intimacy with her husband? She is simply offended by the lack of attention!

The same can be expected for a husband whose wife lives on a “home-work-home-work” schedule. The daily routine can hardly be considered a powerful aphrodisiac: immersion in household chores kills the strongest passion. Finally, when a man stops developing as a person, it is a matter of time before his wife stops being attracted to him. Especially if she herself pays great attention to this aspect.

What to do? To begin with, do not forget to pamper your wife with unexpected gifts or actions. Gifts do not have to be expensive: first of all, they must be regular. A small bouquet of flowers, handmade chocolate, cute panties, a ring, a homemade breakfast, an interesting movie found on the Internet, surprises in the form of cinema or theater tickets, an unplanned weekend trip out of town - there are a lot of options. This brings novelty and lightness to relationships and relieves boredom in family life.

If both spouses work in a family, it would be fair to divide household responsibilities equally. Sharing cleaning, washing dishes, preparing lunch or dinner will not take much time, but on the contrary, will free it up for more useful and exciting activities that you would like to do. For example, for sex.

A man must develop if he wants to remain sexually attractive at any age. “A woman loves with her ears” is not a myth, but the truth. Any multifaceted person will always be attractive to members of the opposite sex. Do you want to be wanted? Stay interesting and you will create an atmosphere of constant competition for your attention and affection. This is very exciting! And your woman will not be an exception.

Tired or fed up?

Do you want to know why a wife doesn't want sex with her husband? Please! A modern woman must cope with many responsibilities. Work, household chores, cooking, caring for a child and constant care of one’s body and appearance exhaust a girl or woman more than the training of a professional bodybuilder.

Add here:

stress at work and in society;
anxiety for the future (a very pressing issue lately);
negative, which in theory should be ignored, but in practice it does not always work out.

This is a colossal burden on the female psyche, which directly affects libido. Figuratively speaking, by the end of the day a woman feels emotionally raped and devastated. There’s no time for sex here – she already “got it to the fullest.” She just wants to sleep, sleep, sleep...

About monotony in bed, we can only say one thing - it becomes boring not only for men, but also for women. Especially if the wife’s temperament is an order of magnitude (or even two) higher than her husband’s. A woman is simply bored of having sex according to a familiar pattern. And from here it’s not far to betrayal. In each situation, urgent action must be taken.

What should you do to make her want you? Support your wife emotionally. Tell her how much you love her, how beautiful and smart she is, try not to let her “bury herself” in negativity. The same movie tickets, family vacations, or just going to a restaurant will help here. You can diversify sex by reading specialized literature, watching videos, and simply talking to a more experienced person. And don't be shy! Be progressive husbands: after all, this is not the 18th century, but the 21st century.

Pregnancy, childbirth, caring for a baby... And when is sex?!

During pregnancy and in the first year after childbirth, a woman may no longer experience the same attraction to her husband. And many men are very offended by this. When asked why a wife doesn’t want a husband, they have an “objective” and often only answer: they believe that they are neglected, not given time, and generally relegated to the background.

Remember - these are all your inventions! A wife who sincerely loves her husband does not stop loving him during this period! The fact is that during pregnancy a woman’s hormonal background changes, and this cannot be controlled. This is a natural physiological process that is expressed in the “strange” behavior and tastes of a pregnant woman, her mood swings and sexual unpredictability.

You’re not angry with yourself because you cough and sneeze when you have a cold, and if you hurt yourself badly, you get a bruise? It’s the same here - time must pass for the hormonal levels to return to normal, and your wife again gets a taste for a rich intimate life.

As for the first year after the birth of the baby, there are other reasons. During this period, the young mother is subjected to very strong physical stress: caring for the baby takes all her strength. Imagine being at work 24 hours a day, practically without leaving your workplace and without the opportunity to get a good night's sleep. Add here the constant worry about the baby and how to quickly get into shape after childbirth (for almost any woman this is very important). We think that in such conditions few people will want sex, no matter how strong the love.

What to do? During pregnancy, accept your wife as she is. And after the birth of the child, take on some of the responsibilities around the house and be sure (!) to help your wife care for the baby. You are his dad!

Is sex fun? How to say…

For men who wonder why their wife stopped wanting to have sex, sometimes one thought simply does not occur to them - the woman experiences discomfort or pain during sexual intercourse. Often a wife endures unpleasant sensations so as not to offend her loved one or for fear of being left alone. In this case, she tries to “get out” of intimacy under various pretexts. Of course, this cannot be called an adequate approach. The main reasons for this situation are that you lack openness in communication and trust in each other.

What to do? First of all, talk to your wife about this topic. Ask her directly if she likes what you are doing. Ask persistently, but gently, do not let your wife withdraw into herself. A frank conversation on “bed” topics is absolutely normal and very correct!

Get used to discussing intimate moments in life. A relaxed attitude towards sex can take your love life to a potentially new level.

And finally, some useful tips for husbands whose wives have become cold with them in bed:

Give compliments - all women really like this;
Discuss joint plans for the future;
If you promise something, fulfill it. A man is judged by his actions;
Create an atmosphere of flirtation and playfulness - it excites.

We hope that women will also be able to glean a lot of useful information from our article. Knowing why you don’t want to sleep with your husband, you can tell the man the right direction of action, or avoid such situations from the beginning. After all, many wives don’t even think about the impact that the reluctance of the woman they love to have sex with them has on the male psyche and self-esteem.

If you are not a complete alarmist, then a week or two without sex will not bother you much.

You never know what happens to people: stress, poor health, troubles at work. But if the situation drags on, and you have to beg your husband for warmth and affection in your own bed for months, then it’s time to ring the bells. Not very loudly, of course: the piercing howl of a siren will scare away the last fluids in the soul and body of a man, even if they still remained.

So, we need to decide on the level of hopelessness of the problem. There are only two of them: the end of a relationship and a break, giving a respite and a chance for a new outbreak. In any of these cases, most of the useful tips in this article will turn out to be universal: both options require not to lose shape, self-esteem and respect from the partner, even if his desire is lost forever.

What's the first thing to do when a husband doesn't want a wife?

To start stop the hysteria. Panic attacks, scenes of jealousy, angry choking and other accompaniments of such situations are normal and standard occurrences. Even for those ladies whom others consider to have cold reptilian blood, and their husbands consider frigid statues, similar periods are painful and painful. There is always a place for wounded pride, if not love.

So do breathing exercises, count to ten, buy some rags, get drunk with a friend and cry into her shoulder, in the end. Just don’t torment your man with ugly scenes, losing your face in his eyes and the remnants of warm friendly, if not sexual, relationships.

A rare exception: if your husband is a pathological masochist or a very peculiar extreme person, then a little thrashing may stir up old desires. But here you need to be very careful: these games are not to everyone’s liking, and two or three random “reconciliations” will slightly correct the weather in the house, but the general climate will remain the same.

So, you are outwardly calm and ready to reason, plan and correct the situation. Your heart beats steady or almost steady. The fight for your husband begins!

What to do with yourself if your husband doesn’t want you as a woman?

Why doesn't a husband want a wife?

The main reasons for the cooling of sexual fervor

Parental worries

If you are a young mother, then the lack of intimacy is an easily explainable thing. A beloved but restless baby requires all your attention, and when the tired breadwinner comes home, then his father’s too. Physical and moral strength is running out, and the bed evokes associations only with sound sleep. If you don’t have a separate nursery, then the new father, who is unaccustomed to a small roommate, may become completely withdrawn. He already has in his arsenal a baby whining at the most inopportune moment, a wife dying of fatigue, who, moreover, does not have time to take care of herself, and, God forbid, a mother-in-law or mother behind a thin wall. In such a situation, the main thing is to survive, and there is no time for libido.

Such cases are by no means hopeless if your husband is not of that nasty breed who may stop loving you because you have gained weight after childbirth or the shape of, say, your breasts has changed. Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of such complete egoists. And, no matter how painful it may be for you to lose such a husband, his loss will be your step towards a normal life.

But let's be optimistic: although your husband doesn't want his wife, he loves her. Ask your mother, mother-in-law, neighbor, friend or nanny to take the baby to your place at least for the evening. Use this time wisely: take a fragrant bath, clean yourself up, light candles and order dinner from a restaurant if you haven’t had time to prepare anything edible. Seduce your husband like a movie femme fatale. He will probably be so stunned by surprise that your victory should be easy.

Husband doesn’t want his wife: stress, problems, overwork

It often happens that a husband would like a wife, but cannot: constant fatigue after work, work stress and various similar problems. In most cases, the culprit in this situation is work. In this case, the husband is physically and mentally exhausted. There is an overwhelming burden of worries on his shoulders, his bosses are sitting on his head, and his car’s engine is acting up. Moreover, my idiot son brought home three D’s in math - and who the hell is he so stupid!

Most likely, he will withdraw into himself and would prefer to spend any free minute alone - at the computer or with a book in his hands, rather than in bed with his wife. Because in this state, the thought of sex is associated with another frightening responsibility - this time a marital one.

Seduce this man again, since you already succeeded in this. Since he is still benevolent, respectful and affectionate with you, and after work he drags his mortal body home, perhaps all is not lost to you?

The husband has stopped loving or simply does not want his wife

This problem is much more complicated than the previous ones: the husband does not want his wife due to the loss of attraction to her as a woman.

If he is simply sad, bored, tired of your identical everyday life, your home “outfit” in striped socks and a faded robe, then positive changes can be achieved simply by changing the scenery. Then your favorite stretched robe from your great-grandmother’s time will go to the closet or the trash bin, the socks will take their rightful place in the chest of drawers, and they will be replaced by a glossy peignon or a knitted tight trouser suit.

And don't forget to get rid of that hellishly sloppy ponytail that's nesting on your head at home! There's nothing sexy about it, so you'll have to sacrifice convenience.

He sees what you look like when you go to work: well-groomed and attractive, in the best clothes. Is he, the husband, really unworthy of even a shadow of that beauty that passers-by and employees see?

This case of male reluctance smoothly flows into another: you are so different at home and in public that the dearest man in the world simply does not understand why and for whom there is such a carnival if you have to be alone with Baba Yaga. And you relaxed, decided that he loves you and that’s it, you don’t have to try.

This myth was inspired by novels and TV series: love and desire must be fed, provoked into outbursts, constantly stroked on the head and given nectar. Perhaps then it will take root and bloom wildly according to all the known patterns deduced by old man Freud.

Sexual apathy: the husband organically does not want his wife

He treats his wife extremely warmly, as a dear and close person, but does not consider him as a sexual object. Anything can happen: friendship, understanding, agreement, but not attraction. It may even happen that just the thought of sex with his wife-friend will cause hostility in a man. It is impossible to predict which path your relationship will take in such a situation. It all depends on whether you are ready, like Assol, to wait for scarlet sails on a sea where there are no ships? Are you patient enough to hope for success in a situation where your husband doesn't want you, and most likely won't want you anymore?

Husband doesn't want wife because of his rival

Sex without love is devastating. This is unanimously stated by many psychologists. If your husband no longer wants you, then perhaps he just fell in love. And it’s not even that he has enough sex on the side, it’s just that the object of his languid sighs and serenades at the moment is another woman. You remember how proud you were of his ardent glances, directed only at you.

Don't look for a meeting with your opponent, don't try to determine who is better. This will deprive you of your last strength, already undermined by long sexual hunger.

The solution to this situation also depends on your willingness to wait and forgive.

The husband's infatuation may pass. Romance - evaporate. The flow of life is to return to the old channel.

Many real cases confirm this: husbands returned to bed with their wives after the most dizzying affairs. They returned, cooling down after an affair, and stayed in that bed forever, having “feasted” their passion, experience, and variety of impressions “on the side.”

And the spouses who knew how to wait again received devoted and sexually strong macho men, ready for exploits on the sexual front.

The husband does not want his wife because he cannot want her...

Not every husband admits to an illness of this nature to himself, much less to you. These circumstances force men to withdraw into themselves much more than in the first cases. After all, here He, still young and strong, feels like a flawed, crippled, inferior man. He is driven into a corner and “rewarded” with severe depression by the inability to get aroused at all: neither from your erotic lingerie, nor from watching explicit videos, nor from taking magic pills.

Diseases that affect the sexual function of men are divided into two groups: general and special.

Special - diseases of the reproductive system that directly affect male sexual performance.

General - other ailments that dull intimate desires due to pain and discomfort.

Fortunately, 21st century medicine can solve many problems. And this case just falls into the category of options when you can apply pressure and present some kind of ultimatum of moderate severity. After all, we are talking not so much about sexual bliss as about the health or even the life of your soulmate.

What needs to be done in all scenarios without exception? In the worst case, you will simply improve your appearance and not lose self-esteem; in the best case, you will return everything to normal.

1. Think carefully about your course of action and possible risks. Forcing your husband or under torture to find out from him the reasons for his reluctance is a dead end. Throwing hysterics is useless; making threats is even worse.

2. Calmly and thoroughly have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband.

3. If in his explanations you see the outlines of any of the situations described, act according to our advice.

4. Regardless of the results of the “interrogation,” take care of yourself. Remember the last time you visited a hairdresser, massage therapist, or cosmetologist. Join a gym or just start jogging in the morning - maybe even with your spouse.

5. Try to penetrate his world without signs of mental violence: go fishing or paintball together, yell together at a football stadium or hippodrome. Probably, the husband is simply lonely and does not want to sleep with a strange woman who does not understand his tastes.

6. Add tenderness and romance to your life. Diversify your weekend and don’t overload your already difficult modern everyday life with responsibilities. Romantic evenings, surprises and relaxing holidays will help melt not only his heart, but also some of the functions of the male body you are looking for.

7. Tell your husband about your naughty fantasies. Sometimes curiosity can overcome even resentment, not to mention boredom and despondency. Role-playing games within the tastes of two loving spouses would be condemned only by the last prude.

8. Feel welcome. In the end, convince yourself of this - such impudence can become contagious!

The husband does not want a wife, but he will definitely want it

Being a desirable woman is a great science. At all times, women who traded desire at a high level were required to receive an education, master the art of dance, music, and special grace. Japanese geishas and French courtesans constantly took care of the skin of their faces and bodies, silky hair and soft hands, pursuing one single goal - to please men.

The ability to charm and seduce your man again and again, even imitating such seemingly unworthy persons, is truly a huge job. But the result of such work is worth the effort, isn’t it?

Very often, men have to visit a sexologist due to impaired desire for their wife. The thought haunts me about why everything was wonderful in an intimate way before marriage, and then it seemed to be replaced.

It is necessary to think through all the situations as a result of which now the husband does not want intimacy with his wife. Causes can be of a completely different nature.

Sexual relations greatly affect the relationship between spouses. Sex is very important to a woman because she feels desired.

When everything fades away, such behavior has a negative impact on the emotional sphere.

A crisis birth of a child becomes a common option due to which the husband does not want intimacy with his wife. The reasons for such an attitude towards her will seem absurd, because the woman he loved has now become the mother of his child.

However, from a psychological point of view the situation is much more complicated. Firstly, with the birth of my first child it will take some time before a man rethinks the nuances of the birth process the first-born, which the woman had to go through, because often for a man to be present at childbirth is quite difficult. Besides With the arrival of a new family member, all the thoughts of the young father are occupied with the child. From this moment on, there are only dreams in my head about a worthy future for my son or daughter.

The situation takes a difficult turn when the woman he loved more often became the embodiment of his mother. Even while pregnant, she took care of and looked after her husband. After the birth of a child in the family, all attention is focused on him. The man begins to feel jealous and perceive his baby as a rival.

Parental concerns . A young family always lacks time to relax. All the energy goes into the baby. An additional problem is living with parents or in a small one-room apartment. After a hard day, you want to fall on the bed and fall asleep. There are no more thoughts about any intimacy.

Woman on the side . This version is considered the most common among the fair sex. Often a man does not want not only to have sex with his wife, but even to sleep in the same bed. This behavior appears when the husband is in love with another woman, or he has already satisfied all his needs with her. From a psychological point of view, according to experts, a man tries to abstract himself from an unwanted but forced partner, mentally dividing the territory where both are located.
Domestic problems and stressful situations . It is not uncommon for a husband to come home very tired and all he wants to do is sleep.

The husband already has great responsibilities as the head of the family: making money. Even at work, the bosses start putting pressure on me every day. Of course, after this, the husband does not want intimacy with his wife.

The reasons for this condition accumulate, and the man returns to his wife like a squeezed lemon. He needs rest, and to relax he has to resort to computer games, football, and reading. Nobody wants to fulfill their marital duty just for show.

No attraction because fell out of love . Over time, a situation arises when a wife ceases to excite a man like a woman. Such behavior towards a woman is developed as a result of a long-term marriage, because addiction and lack of interest in everyday life have not been canceled.

IN everything that used to be interesting for the couple is now monotonous and boring . There is no same spark, no passion as before. During the time they lived together, the spouses thoroughly studied all of each other’s sexual preferences, tried a lot, but it became boring.
It is often a phenomenon when wife stops taking care of her appearance , as before. It all starts with days off, when a woman doesn’t worry about how she looks. He puts on the same robe, socks and makes a bun on his head. Gradually, the beloved woman loses her sexuality in the eyes of her husband.

A man sees how on Sunday evening his wife begins to put herself in order for others, but not for herself. She is still dear to him and is in first place, but her husband does not consider her as an object of desire.

Husband during childbirth - big mistake . In order to keep up with modern times, women want to see their husband at their birth. He watches what is happening and understands that now the woman he loves has become a mother. The attitude towards her is changing radically. In addition, seeing all the pain that she experienced, the man is afraid to cause the slightest harm.
Breastfeeding in front of your eyes is also considered unacceptable. Observing what is happening, the husband no longer wants intimacy with his wife, and the reasons for this behavior are on a subconscious level. Previously, his wife's breasts were an object of adoration, but now they do not belong to him. Sexual desire is lost, and the man unconsciously perceives his wife now as the mother of his child.

How to solve a problem when a husband does not want intimacy with his wife

In order to resolve the current situation, it is necessary straight Talk. This is, indeed, a very important stage on the path to maintaining relationships between spouses.

Before starting a conversation, you should ask yourself a few questions:

Why are relationships no longer the same?
What did I do to make them like this?
How can I help my wife now in this situation?
What can I do to get my relationship back?

After receiving answers to the questions posed, the spouse will begin to change the situation. If nothing can be changed, then it is best to consult a psychologist or sexologist.

As a rule, most of the advice of family psychotherapists comes down to changing attitudes through a radical change in lifestyle, radical actions.

This is quite difficult and not for everyone, but for those who succeed, solving similar problems in the future is a mere trifle.

Recipes for family happiness

The first thing you need to do is change your appearance . If a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, the reasons often lie in the woman herself, in her behavior or appearance.

It's time to finally change! You can start by purchasing sexy lingerie. It will be good ground for fantasy.

Next you need change your home wardrobe . A casual robe and a bun on the head will cease to excite any man. A little cosmetics on the face will freshen it up and definitely won’t be unnecessary, even if the woman is on maternity leave. This should not be a reason to forget about yourself.

In the evening, waiting for my husband after work, prepare a surprise . If there is a child in the family, then you can ask the mother or mother-in-law to look after him for one night.
A drop jealousy will bring a little fire into the marital relationship. The main thing is not to go too far, because all efforts will end in a quarrel.
Intimate touches. You can add variety to your relationship through unexpected touches. This behavior will allow a man to look forward to meeting his wife.
Unplanned sex. When a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, all the reasons for this behavior lie in everyday life. It is necessary to bring passion and surprise into the relationship.
Compliments. It turns out that not only women, but also men love with their ears. It’s not difficult to tell your man how strong and courageous he is.
Something needs to be done with the body. After childbirth, it changes and often not for the better. During pregnancy, excess body weight remains, and it is difficult to lose those extra centimeters. In addition, a woman’s vagina becomes less elastic after the birth of a child, which affects the sensations of both spouses.

To strengthen weak muscles, you need to regularly strengthen them with Kegel exercises.

Just like women, men experience postpartum depression. The most important thing is not to miss this moment. The spouse stops sharing problems and withdraws into himself. A similar situation arises when a woman becomes completely absorbed in her child. A man needs to understand his importance in this process. It is necessary to allow him to be alone with the child more often. In addition, verbally encourage how well everything is going in raising the child.

The best medicine against depression will be those who are the cause - this is the spouse and child. You cannot refuse the help that your wife offers. It happens that a woman has no time to talk to a man about his experiences. There is only one way left - to deal with it yourself, and it is best to consult a specialist.

Many families are breaking up due to the husband was never able to accept the idea of the head of the family and responsibility for it . A man first seeks his solace in alcohol, another woman, but the time will come when everything will end. Tomorrow will definitely come, and will you want to be alone without your wife and child nearby? Of course not. In order to prevent a sad end in family relationships, it is necessary to plan everything correctly, solve the problem and survive the turning point that has arisen.

Every woman needs to clearly understand that if her husband does not want intimacy with his wife, then the reasons can be very diverse. You can’t start making trouble, because this will push your partner away even more. Without scandals, you should calmly discuss everything and try to find a solution.

Only the mutual desire of the spouses will allow the former passion and emotions to return. If after many attempts there are no positive results, you need to contact a specialist. Sessions with a psychologist or sexologist will help solve the problem in family relationships.